Hey guys, your friend Steven Moffat here. I’m pretty busy working on Sherlock now, but I thought I’d drop by Tumblr with a friendly warning.

For God’s sake, don’t make Peter Capaldi mad. Don’t do it. Don’t you do it.

He’s not like normal actors. He reads *everything*. Livejournal, Insanejournal, Dreamwidth… he’s everywhere. He wrote a 49-chapter fic about Donna Noble and a female Sixth Doctor in a lesbian relationship, for Christ’s sake, and it was *good*! If you anger him, he will come for you in the night!

Always at night. Never during the day. We think this may be a weakness, but it could just be his own sadistic choice.

All he wants—all he’s ever wanted—was to be the Doctor. God help us. God help us all, the things he’s done. You think Matt Smith wanted to leave? He woke up one morning and found that all the hair had been shaved from his head, with Peter Capaldi sitting at the foot of his bed, stroking it like a pet.

I once asked Christopher Eccleston why he wouldn’t come back for the 50th Anniversary Special. He didn’t answer, only asked a question. “Is Peter Capaldi there?” I didn’t answer, but my silence told him everything. He’s still in America, playing the bad guy in sci-fi movies. He’s safe there. At least, I hope he is.

You think John Hurt was in the Special? It was Capaldi. He was wearing John’s skin. I didn’t even know until it was time for his close-up. Then he… he took it off. I remember, he said “I am everything.” That close-up wasn’t for the cameras. It was how he looked at all of us… all those who doubted.

We didn’t even ask Karen Gillian to be in the Christmas Special. He brought her. I watched as he stroked her bald head until the hair grew back, and he whispered in her ears the secrets of the world’s blood. She’s not Eleven’s companion anymore. She’s his.

Capaldi is the Doctor now. He will always be the Doctor. He always has been the Doctor. Even now, he eats the flesh of Colin Baker to grow stronger. I hope it will satisfy him. I hope he can be satisfied.

Doctor Who will no longer be called Doctor Who. That was a question. That question has been answered. The name of the show is now Capaldi, and I weep at the glory and the terror of it. I am not Steven Moffat anymore. I am also Capaldi, and realize now that I have always been Capaldi, that all is Capaldi.

You are Capaldi too.

Hello, Capaldi.

Thank you for being the best Doctor ever.

(с)


Я ЛЮБИТЬ КАПАЛЬДИ!!!!